The “Two Week Wait.”

The “Two Week Wait…”

Collectively the worst experience for any women dealing with infertility. 

Last transfer I was hopeful. This time I feel… Discouraged. This whole protocol I’ve felt down. Just sad, and it makes me angry and confused.

If this one doesn’t take we’ve resolved to stop, and do another round of IVF to get more eggs before doing another FET. That’s frightening in an of itself. We have to put everything back on hold and start back over again. I know there are so many women who have done this… And I feel your sadness as if it were my own, even though it’s not my reality yet.

I guess it’s all just fear. I am afraid of a negative result. Or another chemical loss.

It means I also walk around obsessing over every symptom.

I’ve had a significant amount of cramping. Not full blown period cramping… But annoying discomfort. Also I feel STIFF inside. I also seem to have excessive moisture… Not full blow discharge though. I’m also waking up covered in sweat… But that’s sorta been happening since I started the progesterone. My breasts are mildly sore. When I was pregnant before my breasts were sore too. My full MC my breast swelled up like balloons almost instantly.

But this isn’t hope in my heart. It’s heartbreak. Fearful of a loss. We only have 2 embryos. There is only one left in the freezer. 

I’ve done everything I can do you little one. I’ve scraped up my insides. I’ve prepped you. I’ve liberated you from my ovaries. I’ve fertilized you. I’ve tested and froze you. I’ve prepped my body for you. I’ve defrosted you and put you back in. It’s your job now. It’s up to you. 

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2 thoughts on “The “Two Week Wait.”

  1. unplannedinfertility says:

    2WW is pure torture. I want to say not to read too much into “symptoms”. I want to say not to obsess. I want to say it’ll fly by. I want to say not to worry. I want to say stay positive. But we know it’s just about impossible. So instead, I’ll say this. Don’t drive yourself *too* crazy with all of it. Hang in there!

    Like

    • matteblacknailpolish says:

      Thank you. It is truly impossible.
      Every step forward for me has involved 2 steps back since last June when I had the MC. Before that it was a year of confused trying with no success. Then the 2 more chemicals before I finally went to the fertility clinic and I was diagnosed. They have been amazing, but it’s still be a struggle. I know people have been fighting this battle a whole lot longer, and I feel bad for complaining.

      I am just having a hard time staying positive that this will be the time it works.

      Liked by 1 person

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